I remembered!

Finally, a long overdue Humor Day post.

This lovely gem comes courtesy of a housewife in Wales.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/05/18/vibrating_knickers/
Now they'll probably have to put warning labels on the panties.

Next time she'll know to wear a helmet.

Mapping Sex in America

If you'll notice on the left, below my profile, there's a flashing link to a project sponsored by the Museum of Sex. Please participate.

How'd I manage to miss the Erotic Expo in NYC last weekend? They claim it's the first, but I went to the Erotica Convention in Javitz years agao.

You may see superfluous posts for a while - I'm trying to find the best way to post from my phone.

Mobile blog!

Female Orgasm

There's an article on female orgasm (link good for 7 days) in the New York Times today. The researcher suggests its a vestigial artifact, like nipples on men – that it's just for "fun". (Others disagree.)

Well ladies, go out and have "fun".

Shabbat Smile

Since I've missed 3 whole Humor Days, I offer you this instead. (My H.S. History teacher sends these sort of jokes every Thursday.)

An elderly Jewish gentleman marries a much younger woman. No matter what he does sexually, the wife never achieves fulfillment .

Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and made The following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help the wife fantasize and should bring on her tremendous sexual pleasure

They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love.

It doesn't help and she is still unsatisfied.

Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi. "Okay," he says to the husband, "Let's try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice.

The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and the wife soon has enormous, room-shaking, earsplitting, screaming pleasure.

The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly:

You see, you young schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!"

Not my fault!

Okay, it is not my fault that I keep getting invited to parties on Wednesday nights. I made it home before this morning though!

What can I say, one only turns 80 once.

Unreasonable Attachment to Inanimate Objects.

Seems that the title of this post would be more suited to vibrators or something. But I'm still nattering on about my phone.

So I got a new phone today. Yay. And I actually felt guilty about disconnecting my old phone. I really did love that thing. But I found myself trying to scream over a bad connection this morning, and I actually did have a little disposable income, so now was as good a time as ever. Just rip that band-aid off!

I spent a couple hours playing with it. (Had a 2:45 MD appt. They took me at 4:15. Why even bother making appointments?) Then I read the manual on the bus on my way home. It's pretty cool. So far the camera's my favorite part. It's my first digital camera, so even though it's a crappy cellphone camera, it's still fun since I have nothing better to compare it to. I would post a crapcam photo here, but as I mentioned, my PC is too old to run the phone software, so I can only do that stuff from work. And I tend not to post from work. Hmm - I'll figure something out.

I can't use all of the features yet because the multimedia part of my service won't kick in until the 19th. (Although I do appreciate the service rep who set it up that way, rather than double charging me this month for regular service + new service.) Once that's up I'll be able to send pictures, do video, watch TV. I think I'll get rid of the TV/video portions after the free trial. Last thing I need is to have a TV with me at all times.

Okay - back to the vibrators. They do not generate such strong emotion in me as do my phones, but I do appreciate the varied and interesting styles available. Here's a review of the Hello Kitty Vibrator. And for the more advanced or the more jaded, here is an entire site on Fucking Machines. Never limp, never tired, never distracted...

Sex? What's that?

I haven't been talking about sex lately, neither here nor in real life. That's kind of frightening. It seems that it's all I ever talk about, but yet, it's not on my mind lately. I've been busy. (Obviously not busy in a good way, or else I'd be thinking about sex.)

I've been busy at work; there are too many things going on all at once. There's too much to do on the weekend, none of it I WANT to do, mind you, but being as I'm the one with the car, I end up HAVING to do it. Feh.

I've also been obsessing on my phone. I'll probably buy the Treo 650 tomorrow. (Ooh, perhaps now we'll have a blog with pictures! Or maybe not. I don't think the phone software even supports this OS, my home computer is so old. I may have to install it and synch from work. Pathetic.)

And I'm exhausted. I barely have the wherewithal to watch TV at nights, and as soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm out cold.

None of this is very conducive to thinking about sex.

What I need is a little inspiration ....

oh how sad. I spent the last 15 minutes looking for something ... inspirational ... to put up here, and I couldn't find anything. sniffle. I think some sdd is in order.

Oops, did it again.

Gee, sorry. I guess I should stop drinking on Wednesday nights ... or at least stop drinking sometime before Thursday mornings.

But TGIF. Seriously. It's been a week.

Nothing really sexy to report, however. It hasn't been on my mind too much. I seem to be more concerned with what smartphone to buy to replace my beloved Kyocera 6035 SmartPhone. Nothing's quite the same. Granted they all have more features, but they also seem more bug-riddled and persnickety. So I'm trying to use all of the features on my current phone which will not be on my next phone (most likely a Treo 650). I've had my 6035 for 5 years, but today's the first day I recorded a voice message. I should have used that more often.

Jeez, how is it possible that I have nothing sexual on my mind? I feel that I'm failing you. Well, just for a quicky, here's a list of weird sex laws, mostly from the US, but with some foreign laws at the bottom.

For Shame ...

I basically forgot to post last week. Not even my usual Humor Day post. (At least this blogger has a life.) Actually I didn't even manage to make it home Wednesday night, so posting was rather far from my mind.

What is on my mind? Well, I was browsing over at the Museum of Menstruation, and I remembered they had those old Lysol ads. (A million uses and counting!) No wonder guys used to be less willing to gamahuche.