Hormones & other mysteries of life

Hormones are so strange. You can just be going along, normally, when all of a sudden you get attacked by them. I swear, if I didn't know better, I would think I went into "heat" for 2 days last week. I was completely insane. Hypersensitivity to touch, sexual obsession (moreso than usual, and that's saying a lot), flirting - I don't flirt. It was the weirdest thing. And just as suddenly, it disappeared. The next day I was back to my regular "Boys are stupid-throw rocks at them" mode.
In other news, I went ice skating the other day. It'd been at least 7 years since the last time. But you don't really forget; you're just less graceful and more afraid to fall. The fear didn't last long though. Especially weighed against how much fun it is to tackle the novice skaters.

Hello, it is me, known as hello!

I think we'll make Wednesdays Humor Day. I know it's "hump day", but more often than not, that's wishful thinking.

This is an oldie but a goodie from Clean Sheets. Take your average, amateur, erotic story, run it through every language translation program you can find, and enjoy the results.

And when you're done with that, go outside. There is a lovely full moon tonight.

Back to the matter at hand...

I'm still a little congested, but I'm feeling better, thanks for asking.

I was watching Real Sex on HBO the other day and I thought: "White people are crazy." No ... Okay, yeah, I did think that, but that's not the point of this post. (In general I think people are crazy, without regard to ethnicity, but it seems that, for some reason, Caucasians feel much freer to explore whatever oddity might give them pleasure. Or perhaps Caucasians are just more open to having HBO film them in said pursuit ... that's probably it.) Actually I thought, there are so many opportunities to capitalize on sex, and people are making good money off of them, but I just can't seem to come up with a killer app that will profit for me. The mobile dungeon? I should have thought of that! Creating a studio space with differently-themed sets for people to video their fantasies? That totally makes sense. Collecting fucking machines? Okay, I never would have thought of that. But, I've got to think of something. I can't just sit behind a desk, underneath a stairwell, for the rest of my life

Now that my mind has wandered back on to sex (with a vengeance), I've also tried to figure out why all the girls of porn are so Barbie-shaped and the guys are so fugly and barrel-chested. I mean, it's not really that hard to figure out: porn is tailored toward men, so they want an idealized woman and a non-threatening man. But increasingly more women are buying porn. Doesn't that influence the market? How about some non-threatening women - perhaps a bit of pudge here & there, more than a square inch of pubic hair, and dare I say it, natural breasts - and seriously hot guys. I'd buy that for a dollar! I'm sure such things exist. I bitch, but it's not like I've been in the market for any porn videos in a dog's age.

There's a Maureen Dowd opinion piece in the NY Times today that talks about "road beef" and "taking one for the team." It also touches a bit on what I discussed above; specifically the idea that if a guy is with less than a model-type, he's making a sacrifice, but if a gal is with Joe Schlumpf, she's "lucky to have found love." It's all so stupid.

Beauty is beauty, and that's all well and good. No one's suggesting you shouldn't appreciate beauty. We're hard-wired to do so. Part of what we ascribe to beauty are markers of health. In choosing a mate, these things are biologically important. But in the real, contemporary, civilized world, modern folks need to learn to look past what Madison Avenue has trained us to want, and identify what's truly valuable about a person.

Succubus

I decided my blog needed a guardian Succubus.

I didn't post yesterday. I'm sorry. I'm sick, and it's hard for me to think about sex when I'm sick. The phlegm and the hacking and the coughing and the pain kinda ruin it for me. I promise I'll make it up to you later, okay?

Suck the Head, Baby!

I'm going to New Orleans next month. I'm excited. I like it there. What's not to like about such an hedonistic locale?

I was just on the phone trying to explain to a friend how to eat boiled crawfish. She thought I was kidding.

It took me years to even attempt to suck the head, and even now, I hesitate a bit at first, but once I get into it, I do it with gusto. Mmm.

Wait a minute - was I talking about crawfish, or fellatio?

Doesn't matter, I suppose. Either makes for a fine time in the Big Easy.

Mmmmmm....

Celebrate the Massacre

I acknowledge it's Valentine's Day, but that's all you'll hear from me on the subject.


I just took out the Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex from the library. Jaj, I feel old! I had the first edition of this when it came out. Now it seems so ... dated. Nonoxynol 9 - do they even use that any more?

Ahh ... sex.
sex sex sex sex sex.

It's so easy, but so complicated. Or perhaps it's love that's complicated. Sex is easy. Good sex ... a little more effort is required, but it's still easy.

It's still amazing to me what people know versus what they don't know. Or what people believe versus what the facts are. There is still such a wide discrepancy between the two. Apparently Alfred Kinsey was among the first to elucidate this disparity. Watching the movie, Kinsey, it is sadly amusing to see how far we've come, and still how little we've changed. Advocating abstinence in lieu of sex education ... that's not education, that's subjugation. Mind you, I'm not saying that teenagers, or younger, should be having sex. I just think it's counterintuitive, that when faced with a uncomfortable question, one's answer should be "that's evil - don't do that." Don't skirt the issue. Do the research, answer the question, and trust the individual's ethics to guide them appropriately. If they were brought up, not dragged up, they'll do the right thing.

Speaking of Alfred Kinsey, PBS is running a documentary about his life this evening. One that doesn't flirt so delicately about the fact that he tithered along the edges of the dark side in his later research.

There should be people who can answer questions about sex. I mean, when you're of an age to be curious, who can you ask? Your friends are equally clueless (or disturbingly experienced, I don 't know which is worse), your parents are unapproachable ... who is there to talk to? Nowadays, the web is a good resource, with sites like Go ask Alice or SIECUS, but that's so sterile. I try to be approachable. (A fact which I know, one day, I will be made to regret.) But I'm only one person. YOU - yeah you. Go talk about sex with someone you care about.

"Train up children in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

(8 years of Lutheran school, and that's what I remember - the verse they wrote on our report cards.)

Welcome!

For no particular reason, I've decided to start a new blog. (As if I've maintained the others so well...) There are certain aspects of my personality that I've been ignoring, and I think it's due time to give them voice. So pull up your favorite naugahyde bean bag chair and settle in.