Ill-humor

And to follow up on the Abstinence Only theme, here is the boys' site. I know this is a lame, easy post, but I had surgery this morning and I'm not in the best humor.

Speaking of not the best humor - fit for only a select crowd of us sickos - here's another: http://durrrrr.blogspot.com/

On that note - bring me more painkillers!

Humor Day

Here's a Abstinence Only site for girls; tips on how not to break your "vagina's freshness seal".

Iron Hymen

We'll cover the boys' site & the danger of "testicle weevils" next week.

Sadly, no head sucking.

Back from New Orleans, with no debauchery to report.

I know, I'm sad too. It was rainy and cold a lot of the time, so I only spent 2 nights on Bourbon Street. I did get to visit a lot of museums and I went to the zoo. I'll probably post pictures later.

By the way, Preservation Hall is a frotteur's fantasy. I don't encourage that sort of behavior. I'm just trying to listen to the music; keep your hands to yourself, strange foreign guy! And who was that who kept farting?!?

I didn't get to suck any heads ... and it was too early for good crawfish. ;-)

My hotel caught on fire, but my room wasn't damaged.

I did manage to get bitten by a vampire, but that's another story ...

Humor-impaired

Hmm - I can't think of anything funny today. I could tell an off-color joke, but that would take more time than I have. So I'll just point you to the Divine Interventions site. It's not ha-ha funny, but at first glance, I thought "That's just wrong!", and then started laughing. But I imagine most people won't have a sense of humor about their products. Ah well, to each his own. I thought it was amusing.

I'll make it up to you next week. Well, not next week; I won't be here, but soon thereafter.

I'm craptastic. How are you?

Cold. Tired. Cranky. Hungry.

And blind on top of it all.

They dilated my eyes to check my retinas, so the light from the monitor is simply blinding and typing is a joy, as you might imagine.

In addition I waited outside, in gale force winds, for an hour before my bus came. I've only eaten a bag of popcorn in, ohh, 28 hours, and hence, I'm (understandably) cranky.

It was raining & 54 this morning, now it's about 20. The streets are iced over, and the gusts (up to 51 mph) nail you right when you're trying to walk across a street, so you slide, although you're standing still. I leaned backward into the wind for a while - never fell.

Sex!?! - not tonight honey; I have a headache.

Happy Dance!

I found my phone! It had fallen out in the backseat of my friend's car. At least I don't have to get a new one. That phone's been a long way with me. Vindigo has helped me navigate (& get lost in) a number of cities, I dialed 911 from it when I capsized in the McKenzie River, etc. I'm not ready to give all that up. Plus it's huge so it's (usually) hard to lose. I likes 'em big. hee hee

T-10 days 'til New Orleans. I think I've gotten all the reservations made, that I plan to make. (5 fancy restaurants will be my limit. Gotta leave room for the un-fancy, yet equally good, food.) I'd been plotting out my activities on a calendar, to make sure I have time to do all the things I want to. Well, today I put price tags on all of those activities, and it's time for me to slow down. I get a bit overeager, since New Orleans is so much cheaper than New York, but money is money, and it's not necessary to spend it as soon as you get it. (How many years has it taken me to learn that?)

I've taken out a bunch of tour books from the library. It's funny how each is a little different. But now I'm just confused about what I read where. Oh well, I'll figure it out. The only thing I can't find is a guide to ... evening activities. Bourbon Street strip clubs, especially the ones with male dancers, are so bloody lame; where are the good ones? There has to be something for us women. New York has an erotic guide - New Orleans should too. Well, maybe not. I keep forgetting that at heart it's still a rather small, religious town, in a "red" state.

But feel free to offer your suggestions about any clubs that might be interesting.

oops - forgot

... that it's Humor day.

Well, for simplicity's sake, I'll return to the Clean Sheets archive. Since I'm having a crappy evening, I'll share with you 6 Nights of Crappy Sex.

Crap! (warning, no sexual content)

Bloody hell, I lost my cell phone tonight.

I don't know if someone took it, or it fell out of my briefcase. I don't know why anyone would take it; I think it's about 6 years old, huge, and about to lose its charge. They don't even make those anymore (Kyocera Smartphone). Luckily I'd synced it this weekend, so I don't think I'll lose any info, but it's an annoyance.

On the other hand, I do have Equipment Replacement and it's about time I got a new one anyway.

Phlbbt - I like my big, old cell phone.

Please to explain ...?

What's with the sudden rash of 30-something female teachers being found having sexual relations with their teenaged students? Is the paucity of 30-something men so dear, or have women just given up on them altogether? Is this a hallmark of women's lib - committing the same travesties as our male counterparts?

Rationally, I can almost understand wanting a younger (more malleable) man ... much like people adopt more puppies & kittens over dogs & cats. But when it comes to sex, I have biases toward maturity in a partner. I've never even kissed anyone more than 6 years my junior. (And they were always above the legal age of consent!)

Ladies, this is not a good trend to follow.