Asshat

If you know this guy, bust his ass.

Flashers annoy me. I'm usually enjoying my own little world; I didn't ask to see your sorry-ass piece of meat. If I want to see a penis, I know where to go, and chances are it's probably not going to be yours.

What really annoys me is the smarmy smug little grin he's got on his face. It makes me want to hurt him. In fact, the last guy who flashed me was in a car. I leaned over into the window like I was into it, then I started yelling about ripping that shit off and shoving it down his throat. He took off like a bat out of hell.

The cops never do anything about it. I used to get the makes, models, & license plates, and then spend hours on hold with the precinct. They don't care; they think it's funny.

Flashers & frotteurs - wastes of life - and public urinaters too. As my great-aunt used to advise: "grab & twist". You've been warned.

Not in my box of 64...

Humor day:

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Kiss me and I'll kiss you back

There's a kiss-in at Times Square at 1:30 today to commemorate the famous kiss in Life magazine after WWII.

What kind of kisser are you?

I haven't been posting these quiz things here, but kissing ... ah, kissing. I take my kissing seriously.

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Part Free Love Kisser

Of all the kissing types, you've racked up the most experience Kissing is no big deal to you - you'll kiss anyone you find hot! It's easy for you to take the plunge and make the first move. And you don't really consider kissing to be cheating!

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 14% Pure

For you, it's all kiss and no talk. You're in a permanent lip lock.

Kissing Purity Test

get me away from these quizzes!

Okay - I'm having fun with this site ... here are some more results I found to be astute (or flattering).

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Are 30% Extrovert, 70% Introvert

You are quite reserved You aren't afraid of social situations... But you very much prefer to go it alone And why not? You're your own best friend!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion! And chances are, you're currently in love. You have a strong physical response to love... And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's Your Love Style?

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Humor Day ...

... does this mean I have to find something amusing?

sigh

Well, I went to the Museum of Sex last week. I haven't been there since their inaugural year. The current exhibits are Men Without Suits: Objectifying The American Male Body & Stags Smokers and Blue Movies: The Origins of American Pornographic Film. I preferred the latter. Not that there's anything wrong with the male body ...

What's amusing about the Museum of Sex is that everyone behaves as in any other museum. People maintain the same distances and proximities, and moderate their time at any one area based on the other people waiting to see the same thing.

But instead of looking at protoceratops, or the Unicorn tapestries, you're seeing one of the oldest examples of a money shot. (1915, IIRC)

If you were to instantly transplant the attendees from the above three types of museums to a single room, you wouldn't be able to tell from their faces which museum they were at.

I find that amusing.

Why is it that the people with the worst breath never shut up on the bus?

Christ on a cracker! I am sitting behind them and I still gag.